Wednesday, February 17, 2021

Fast forward

It's been a minute since I've been here last. I'm living back in my home town, had a baby boy who is now almost a 3 year old, my  with my almost- husband that I used to write about. We live together with our dog. And I'm becoming a plant person. 


But really I'm on here because I feel like talking about how I feel when I feel I'm too tired to voice it.... It is hard being in a relationship. I think its so easy to take someone for granted, to forget you used to have a life before them, and to remain an individual. I know I've lost myself in the last 5+ years being with my partner. Last year my resolution was to pick up my hobbies that I always was consumed by. I did start painting again. Watercolour painting which was new for me. And I started reading novels again.  Sporadically though and not often, really. This year I need to get back into that more and also reach goals to help me professionally. 

After questioning why I was upset two, three times he walked past me angrily. To me that was a quick give up. Seeing someone in almost tears and instead of being sympathetic, patient and seeing theyre too sad to talk, to just choose to be angry at being ignored instead. Fine, D. I am upset because I'm tired of being the one who is always honest and open in this relationship. I am tired.